Tuesday, November 25, 2003
A friend just invited me to join her in some Sentosa games, along with her church and non-church teams. Am looking forward to end of exams. Said I'll start studying yesterday, but I didn't, instead watched 4h of TV and sang songs after celebrating a hallmate's birthday, so I better start today. There's only 2 days left. Why does it rain every day? :( This is a critical time, if I can pull through this period of time until 5pm, I can be sure that I won't fall asleep while studying, cos I'll be eating dinner and watching TV. Talking about food, I haven't had my official lunch yet, which is sitting on the table right beside me. Argh, why does everyone buy spicy stuff back for me recently? But edible, I can still tolerate the level of spicyness. Oh no, why am I perpetually eating? I'm going to go fat...
Just watched The Sound Of Music, and realised it's set in Germany cos I heard the line 'Auf Wiedersehen.' in it.
I like to consider myself apart from the whole Earth. There is no dignity left. I would like to be able to float away with my books and music and my piano. It just seems to me that there are few people left with any integrity, and two of them happen to be my favorite writer and my favorite musician. I do too much thinking for my own good. I compose poetry in my head, but it won't come out right on paper. It's depressing. I dream too much also. I have so many ambitions, and I am crushed when I realize how very few will ever be achieved. I want to be an author, a musician, a veterinarian, a researcher working with dolphins and other marine life, a friend of those I admire. I want to be someone who would die for her cause. I want to be creative. I want to be a starving artist. I want always to be traveling, never in one place for long. I want to be defending everyone's rights, especially animals and women. I want to be free, inspiring, compassionate. I want to be everything. I want to live under a bright sky with someone I love intensely, and never have to move. To sit and gaze at the heavens with someone. I want never to be tied down or held back as I am now. Above all, I want to be free. I want it to be daytime forever. I want to break away from this everybody-must-be-the-same type of society. Routine is awful. To do the same thing every day, every week, is torture. I hope, someday, to do something that allows for a lot of freedom and creativity.
Just watched The Sound Of Music, and realised it's set in Germany cos I heard the line 'Auf Wiedersehen.' in it.
I like to consider myself apart from the whole Earth. There is no dignity left. I would like to be able to float away with my books and music and my piano. It just seems to me that there are few people left with any integrity, and two of them happen to be my favorite writer and my favorite musician. I do too much thinking for my own good. I compose poetry in my head, but it won't come out right on paper. It's depressing. I dream too much also. I have so many ambitions, and I am crushed when I realize how very few will ever be achieved. I want to be an author, a musician, a veterinarian, a researcher working with dolphins and other marine life, a friend of those I admire. I want to be someone who would die for her cause. I want to be creative. I want to be a starving artist. I want always to be traveling, never in one place for long. I want to be defending everyone's rights, especially animals and women. I want to be free, inspiring, compassionate. I want to be everything. I want to live under a bright sky with someone I love intensely, and never have to move. To sit and gaze at the heavens with someone. I want never to be tied down or held back as I am now. Above all, I want to be free. I want it to be daytime forever. I want to break away from this everybody-must-be-the-same type of society. Routine is awful. To do the same thing every day, every week, is torture. I hope, someday, to do something that allows for a lot of freedom and creativity.
