Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Rise and shine! This was meant to be posted yesterday night, but I couldn't connect. :(
Had to force myself out of bed today at 7am, after contemplating whether to continue sleeping or to sacrifice some sleep to send a classmate off at the airport. The next time someone leaves for studies, it had better be in the afternoon or evening. Another is lost to Melbourne U, this time at the expense of National Parks Board. I held my tears, but if it was me going overseas for 4 years, I wouldn't hold back the tears, I'll let them roll generously. How lucky she is, to have got an overseas scholarship to study landscape architecture. A large part of me still wants to go UK. I really want to leave this place. Which is why I chose to live in hall, to momentarily forget about being in NUS, and be part of another family, a group of like-minded people, called the hall family.
I had forgotten the pain from many entries ago, can't even remember where the pain came from. But the humiliation is getting to me, I don't know what I want anymore. I wish I could split myself up into many parts, so that each can fulfil a dream of mine, so that I wouldn't feel so disappointed in myself.
Shopping is good. This is my first time using NETS to buy clothes. Feels great, but doesn't diminish the humiliation in me. At the end of it all, I'm still back to the same old me.
My sis had food poisoning yesterday. It's been 1.5 years since I heard of someone getting food poisoning. And she had to sit for piano exam today. I hope she's fine now.
KC: I really like the 2 songs from Lei Ting Di Yi Guan. I know you have your means to get the songs, right? 3 weeks later (hopefully) when I get a notebook, I'll get them from you (hopefully). I'll be eternally grateful.
"I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer."
"Your mother killed herself."
"My mother was a drug dealer."
Had to force myself out of bed today at 7am, after contemplating whether to continue sleeping or to sacrifice some sleep to send a classmate off at the airport. The next time someone leaves for studies, it had better be in the afternoon or evening. Another is lost to Melbourne U, this time at the expense of National Parks Board. I held my tears, but if it was me going overseas for 4 years, I wouldn't hold back the tears, I'll let them roll generously. How lucky she is, to have got an overseas scholarship to study landscape architecture. A large part of me still wants to go UK. I really want to leave this place. Which is why I chose to live in hall, to momentarily forget about being in NUS, and be part of another family, a group of like-minded people, called the hall family.
I had forgotten the pain from many entries ago, can't even remember where the pain came from. But the humiliation is getting to me, I don't know what I want anymore. I wish I could split myself up into many parts, so that each can fulfil a dream of mine, so that I wouldn't feel so disappointed in myself.
Shopping is good. This is my first time using NETS to buy clothes. Feels great, but doesn't diminish the humiliation in me. At the end of it all, I'm still back to the same old me.
My sis had food poisoning yesterday. It's been 1.5 years since I heard of someone getting food poisoning. And she had to sit for piano exam today. I hope she's fine now.
KC: I really like the 2 songs from Lei Ting Di Yi Guan. I know you have your means to get the songs, right? 3 weeks later (hopefully) when I get a notebook, I'll get them from you (hopefully). I'll be eternally grateful.
"I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer."
"Your mother killed herself."
"My mother was a drug dealer."
